You ... are like caffeine in my coffee.
You are a stimulant.
You make me more active.
I might not realize that you make my heart beat faster.
... that I'm never tired of you
... that I've got too attached to you
Can I stop you?
... or should I stop myself from wanting you?
wait,
I never really wanted you in the 1st place.
but, it's the feeling, it's not you
Because you are so much like caffeine in my coffee ...
too much of you is bad for me.
I guess, I should just stop wanting you.
STOP.
Defining self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance.
It is likely to be the idea about accepting yourself as you are. But, then … are you happy with yourself?
It is likely to be the idea about accepting yourself as you are. But, then … are you happy with yourself?
What I’m trying to say is …
you might accept the facts about you … but, are you happy with that?
Should you be happy? If not? What
do you think you should do?
Well, it’s interesting that I instantaneously
googled anything related to ‘self-acceptance’ in a little while after a friend
of mine brought that up when we were just shooting the breeze. Googling ‘self-acceptance’
means scanning what that is, taking test(s) about it, reassuring myself that I’m
not the only out there who tries to be the person I want to be.
And I stumbled on this
site.
It simply says that ‘self-acceptance’
is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person you wish to
be, long enough to find out who you really are.
I took the test, and might just
as well started the 10-day plan to self acceptance.
A friend of
mine, after reading my blog … well … criticizing to be exact, challenged me to
write more. Writing more means making at least one piece of writing in a week. A
week, to me, equals to two days, namely Saturday and Sunday. As a matter of
fact, I badly need to shift my attention on work throughout the weekdays.
Whoooooaaa …
That’s not
a challenge to me. It’s more like committing suicide.
Anyways, I
took the challenge …
We’ll see …
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| photo credits |
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| Photo Credits |
I’m an average looking, moderately successful gal. Definitely, I’m not expert at love. What I am good at is …. unrequited love? D’oh! Well, let’s just say I’ve been pining for ways to find the one, the right one. And what’s more, “the drive” to fall head over heels in love with guys who indeed have done a little more than just smiling at me is compelling.
He’s out of your league. Sounds so lame, but that’s what it is. Reality bites.
But come to think of it, unrequited love is not really that bad. Look on the bright side, there might have been some ideas about unrequited love which actually are advantageous.
- You have got something to do with your spare time. When you fall madly in love with someone, it’s likely that you spend your time, even a limited amount of your leisure time, thinking about him. See, the point is, you have got someone to think about, to daydream about. You spend minutes to hours stalking him on Facebook, Twitter and the like. The thing is that you, subconsciously, slowly gain skills to discover information – detective work. Not to mention that he always seems to sneak into your head. Hahaha.
- You have found this one great way to be productive. You have got something to write about, for example. As to me, this really works.
Every cloud has a silver lining, and so they say.
This is pretty much of a silver lining to my storm cloud of unrequited love. Yes, I can see that silver lining.
I am currently being assigned to work in a quite densely wooded area, 'S'. Being away from the city life, I spend my days trying to figure out if I can content myself with something emotionally comforting about working in a remote area. The feeling of being needed, allowing myself to control spending on wasteful stuff, and embracing the peaceful atmosphere are at least three forms of emotional and psychological contentment of working in a remote area.
First of all, the most sensible motive is that nearly everyone like to feel needed. There is this funny feeling when people acknowledge your presence, your work. Given the fact that the number of employees working in big cities compared to that of working in a remote area, your presence seems to make a difference. As a matter of fact, having this kind of feeling is emotionally and psychologically good for you.
Secondly, being in a remote area keeps you away from spending your money on wasteful stuff. In big cities, my spending could have been more than doubled, particularly during certain celebrations. The other way around, here in 'S', once you have made it to a shopping mall, you are likely to be puzzled of what to buy. There are no such decent shopping malls where people normally spend their money on books, clothes, shoes, and the like. Surprisingly, this situation is somewhat beneficial for I can now have my spending cuts.
Finally, you have plenty of time embracing the quiet and peaceful atmosphere. Just imagine that you have had a very tiring day, all you need is probably relax and allow your mind to be free from worry after a period of work or some other activity that has made you worried. It is then; quietness seems to be the best company.
These things might surprise you and teach you new facts about working in a remote area.
Mom enjoys home moving so much.
When others seem to easily get stressed out about moving, Mom seems to take pleasure in every home moving moment. *LoL. But don’t take it the wrong way. It’s not like she gets excited to stop living in a particular home and then find another house. NO.
OK, what I’m trying to say is that she has a thing about others’ home moving. She always has the benefit of every home moving moment. Don’t get me wrong, again. I may not care for all of our neighbors, but Mom always gets along well with people in the neighborhood. She particularly maintains a good relationship with our next door.
The fact that she always loves home moving is all about her interest in the unwanted items from the household. Tell you what; Mom can amazingly turn those discarded things into something useful.
When moving, people tend not to bring along everything with them. In some countries, people might hold a garage sale. It is an informal event for the sale of typically used goods, sometimes new, like-new items from the household with the home owners conducting the sale.
It is slightly different here in Indonesia. When moving, Indonesians might sort through, throw out and give away things they no longer need. Unwanted items = given and taken. This is what I’m trying to point up about the pleasure Mom gets in every home moving. She’s brilliant.
OK, what I’m trying to say is that she has a thing about others’ home moving. She always has the benefit of every home moving moment. Don’t get me wrong, again. I may not care for all of our neighbors, but Mom always gets along well with people in the neighborhood. She particularly maintains a good relationship with our next door.
The fact that she always loves home moving is all about her interest in the unwanted items from the household. Tell you what; Mom can amazingly turn those discarded things into something useful.
When moving, people tend not to bring along everything with them. In some countries, people might hold a garage sale. It is an informal event for the sale of typically used goods, sometimes new, like-new items from the household with the home owners conducting the sale.
It is slightly different here in Indonesia. When moving, Indonesians might sort through, throw out and give away things they no longer need. Unwanted items = given and taken. This is what I’m trying to point up about the pleasure Mom gets in every home moving. She’s brilliant.
Just a quick note about the earth's changing alignment that changes the zodiac sign I read in an article few minutes ago.
Well, I’m not a horoscope fan, but the fact that I am no longer a Cancer is a bit irritating.
I enjoy being a Cancer despite its (sign) name. At this instant, I should be getting ready to change my personality traits? Ahh, there’s no need to rush.
See! I’m still procrastinating! I’m still technically a Cancer! LoL
I enjoy being a Cancer despite its (sign) name. At this instant, I should be getting ready to change my personality traits? Ahh, there’s no need to rush.
See! I’m still procrastinating! I’m still technically a Cancer! LoL
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| Photo Credits |
Have you ever heard of the internet coma?
It is given a situation like this:
When you are sitting on your couch, feet up on the coffee table, laptop on your lap. 4-10 hours later you are in an entirely prone position with your legs off the edge of the coffee table and your head on the seat cushion. You become completely unresponsive to your surroundings.
It happens to me almost all the time. Once I got online, I just don't realize that time flies. I get pleasure from all those late night log-ins. Blogging, blog-walking, checking emails, messing around on Facebook, clicking links shared by Tweeple on Twitter, chatting, and there seems to be a lot of fun things to do when connected to the internet.
Most of the time, I get connected to the internet way longer than I intended. Not to mention the times I find myself murmuring "just a few more minutes" when on-line. Worse, I often get so annoyed if someone bothers me while I’m on-line.
However, I haven’t suffered from any negative consequences of bearing such an internet addiction so far. To me, it is just worth the risk. All those possible health issues like strain, numbness, bad eyesight, poor posture, hmmm I think I can live with that.
Earlier today, I was so hungry that I could eat a horse. Then I found myself mumbling “There’s nothing to eat”, as I opened the fridge and searched through the eating table.
But wait a minute; apparently I found leftover Tempe somewhere in the kitchen. Yaay, this what-to-do-with-leftover idea suddenly came across my mind. In short, here’s my quick-cooking-for lunch recipe, simple as it should be.
Ingredients:
- leftover tempe
- chili
- 1 clove of garlic
How to make:
- Crush the garlic and chili.
- Crush the tempe. Mix them all. Done!
- Serve.
Tempe Geprek, like most people call it. I had it with warm rice. Bliss.
In 2010:
- I finally completed my degree. But missed the graduation ceremony.
- I made a lot of friends in Balikpapan.
- I experienced leaving for work and going home by speedboats.
- I spent Idul Fitri without my beloved family.
- I finally bought a smartphone.
- I had some random inappropriate crushes. And managed to move on after all.
- I managed to lose about 2-3 kilos. And later gained 5 kilos.
- I inhaled volcanic ash and dust during Merapi eruption.
- I jumped over the 2-3 meter high office fence! In daylight! This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've done! And I thanked Mr. anonymous parking guard and Mr. Midomi seller for helping me out, lifting me up … *grins*
Now that I'm supposed to be working on the resolutions I made ... at the end of 2009. Oh, I still work on 2010 resolutions, for most of them failed. Well, I'll simply make them as my resolutions in 2011.
I took a personality test on the internet, just for fun. This is how the personality test tried to diagnose me:
Well, ... I was rated 'high' probability for histrionic personality disorder :(
More info:
Oh, am I histrionic?
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Schizotypal Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Antisocial Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Borderline Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Histrionic Personality Disorder: | High |
| Narcissistic Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Avoidant Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Dependent Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | Moderate |
Well, ... I was rated 'high' probability for histrionic personality disorder :(
More info:
Oh, am I histrionic?
I'm not a Photoshop literate to edit or add effects on photos. However, I've been lately busy working on some photos I've posted here, in my blog. Well, it's so magical! I must say so. A friend of mine got this software installed on my laptop. *big thanks to Elsetiyawan
It's Photoscape
It's a photo editing software that has just about anything you need to fix and enhance your photos. I got totally charmed by the magic of this amazing software. Editing, combining, adding funny stuff to your photos, colouring, you name it.
You might have known this software, but it's new to me, and no question, it's fun and ... provided free of charge. Here are some more photos:
It's Photoscape
It's a photo editing software that has just about anything you need to fix and enhance your photos. I got totally charmed by the magic of this amazing software. Editing, combining, adding funny stuff to your photos, colouring, you name it.
You might have known this software, but it's new to me, and no question, it's fun and ... provided free of charge. Here are some more photos:
birthday is all about making wishes, blowing candles, eating, and striking poses
after all, karaoke is a real stress release :)
In this late days of 2010, I should have had some kind of new spirit, strength of mind, inner-self to get ready to count on a new beginning. But there has been something bothering my mind, something annoying, irritating ... err frustrating *I think I'm just exaggerating*. It keeps getting me on my nerves, like I'm being exposed to think about it over and over again. Even I feel like I'm going down deep to a very huge confusion that is growing every single second of my life *again, I'm exaggerating*.
It's all about a topic Mom brought up few days ago. An arranged marriage, that is.
Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. Maybe.
I don't expect anybody helping me out to fix it up. I just need to let someone else know. I need you let you know, just to make myself a bit more relieved.
It's all about a topic Mom brought up few days ago. An arranged marriage, that is.
Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. Maybe.
I don't expect anybody helping me out to fix it up. I just need to let someone else know. I need you let you know, just to make myself a bit more relieved.
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